"What gift has providence bestowed on man that is so dear to him as his
children?" (Cicero 106-43 B.C.)
I once asked Dad if he had any regrets in life, anything that he would have done differently. His answer will come as no surprise to you as Dad replied that he wished he would've had more time to spend with his kids when we were growing up. The tables now seem to be turned as I wish everyday that I could spend more time with Dad, even if it is to quietly sit by his side.
I talked with Mom earlier this evening and she is looking forward to #1 daughter Cindy coming home. She should arrive around 8:30 or 9:00 PM. (Cindy safely arrived about 10:00 PM) This stage of Dads illness brings with it a whole new array of challenges to overcome. Dad is not swallowing well anymore, so getting medication orally presents problems. It may be that we're moving toward IV medication. The hospice nurse today updated Dr. Caruso on Dad's condition and they decided to add another 25mcg. patch for a total of
125mcg Fentanyl to try and control the pain and possibly reduce the amount of oral medication Dad is taking. It is also very difficult to move Dad these days and thankfully my brothers have been able to stay with Mom and do a lot of the lifting required.
Today my 2 year old Kieran picked up the phone and said "I talk to Pop Pop." She often pretends to talk to various members of the family on the phone, and in fact lately has taken to answering the phone herself. I thought how nice that she feels so attached to her Grammie and Pop Pop and then almost as quickly I felt a deep pang of sadness knowing that Kieran will grow up without her Pop Pop, and that she may not even remember time spent with him. ....And so the emotions seem to go these days. I feel so fortunate to have
had Mom and Dad in my life for as long as I have and then I feel so saddened that my kids and especially little Brayden won't experience first hand all the many gifts of their Pop Pop. I worry whether or not I will be able to relate to Shelby, Kieran and Brayden how wonderful and loving Dad is, how much he has influenced my life, and how much I adore him? Perhaps more importantly I wonder if I will be able to positively influence their lives as much as Dad has mine.
"One hundred years from now it will not matter what kind of house I lived in, what kind of car I drove, how much I had in my bank account, nor what my clothes looked like. But the world may be a little better because I was important in the life of a child........."
Dad you are the richest man I know, there is no doubt that I'm a better person, that my brothers and sisters are better people, and that the world is a better place thanks to you.
Signing off with love and prayers,
Barb #8 of 10
And then my next favorite email article written by my brother Dan:
It's on a hand carved wooden sign in the kitchen, a gift from Pam to celebrate the kitchen as the social center of our family home at 283 North Saint Marys Street. We often tease Dad and Mom that "Sit Long" and "Talk Much" are also their Native American Indian names based on some of thier notable social habits!
While "Sit Long" was in for his nap the other day Itook the opportunity to spend a few moments in the chair that has holds him in it's arms for so many hours each day. I looked around the room and imagined how things must look from Dads perspective throughout the course of each day. It's a comfortable chair in a strategic location- near the doorways to the kitchen and parlor which leads to the master bedroom. It offers an amazing view of 19 grandchildren and six golden grads, and of angels perched on bookshelves, and fireplace mantel. It's a box seat ticket to the Masters, Pittsburgh Pirate baseball, to Penn State and Steeler
football. Sunshine can be seen peeking through the windows in the front room or the living room depending on time of day. The chair is only a few feet from the computer where daily updates are created and daily well wishes are downloaded to the printer. It's a good spot to greet guests- and be greeted.
It's a front row pew at communion time or during times of prayer or reflection. It's also a great spot to keep an eye and ear out for "Talk Much" - and she for him! I know it's hard for Dad to spend so much time in
this chair everyday, especially when he's not feeling well. But I also know that he chooses to think of his new "world headquarters" in the most positive light, another shining example of how he inspires us all to look
for the good in every situation.
Stay tuned for more about "Talk Much" on my next turn at update! I need to
get this off the my editor in St. Marys before the midnight deadline. Until
then, I am...
Sincerely yours,
# 6 Dan (oldest of the younger siblings & Mom's favorite!)
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