The Artist I  Am

Lost but surviving?  I do what I can each day but it doesn't reach my soul?  Why? Because I don't really belong anymore in this one pathway because a side pathway has captured my interest and reached the depths of my initial soul that I always had from the beginning earliest memories that I can remember.  I can blame people or workload or any number of things but the bottom line is...I'm an artist.  Like many who try to get by making a living at doing other things.  I do it that well and have been for years!  I know I make a great living that a lot of woman would endeavor to make.  And I appreciate that I could use some of my talents for that. Each day I give it my all and keep my focus but it doesn't support the black space growing inside me.  I'm empty now as I've aged and I want what makes my soul happy.  Not many people can live being an artist and that is why I'm doing what I do now. I'm extremely committed to my family and supporting them financially. What to do?  Life's a journey, enjoy it. God works in his time and in his way.  Trust the journey.  I didn't die of cancer, so I'm thinking that God wants more from me and wants to help me get there the way he wants. So each day is a new day, a gift!  I approach it that way but I never give up on the artist I am!